Fake News Story Blog

Las Vegas – Punch-drunk Love-sick Wedding war.

Breaking news today, the consolation of our American wedding utopia has been wrecked. The nation is griped after the shocking revelation of a same-sex Gothic and Christian professional licensed unionizers were caught in a disgusting and depraved intermingling. This relationship is so taboo, that it makes bestiality look like a pretty white kid making a snow-man.

It all started when a new Gothic wedding chapel, The Count Dracu-love Wedding chapel, opened 100 feet from a Catholic-based chapel, The Jesus is my Homeboy Wedding Chapel. The news of the Count Dracu-love W.C. opening up disturbed the Jesus is my Homeboy W.C. on the fact that the Count Dracu-love W.C. was so close to there’s and it was evil.

The Count Dracu-love church is run by a man named Lue Mephistopheles. He offers such awesome gothic features to a wedding such as Count Dracula and Grim Reaper as ministers, theatrical lightning lighting, live internet web cast, and fake blood. A feud started with Mephistopheles and the leader of the Jesus is my Homeboy W.C, Rich Gimme, when Mephistopheles put up a controversial poster in front of there chapel: “Anything Jesus can do, we can do better.”

Gimme was very distraught by this poster, and decided to take actions into his own hands. During midnight at the Count Dracu-love W.C, they ring a huge church bell to declare that it is witching hour and that couples can get a discount if they get married between 12-1 A.M. Gimme ran into one of Mephistopheles W.C.’s staff and stabbed him in the heart with a katana and put a letter on his back, reading: “See you in three days.”

This act led to a knife fight between the two chapels several hours later, led in a back ally. Sometime during the fight, two of the chapel’s staff member announced that they were in love, they were sick of this hatred for one and another, and that they were getting married. This revolting news led the two chapels to gang up and riot against any type of Gay marriage. The riot also brought the Wild-Wild West Wedding Chapel to be apart of the violence which was led by their leader and also somewhat popular comedian, Gary the Cable Guy. Gary helped recruit local civilians with his southern homo-bashing style of comedy.

The riot lasted for a few hours until broken up by the police. Many were arrested, including all the members of the Count Dracu-love W.C and Jesus is my Homeboy W.C. America was shocked not by the violence of the legal religious chapels, but by the fact that the same-sex couple was going to get married. The subject is truly controversial and here are some responses of locals from Las Vegas when asked there position on same-sex marriages:

“Same-sex couples make me SICK!!! It’s un-Godly like.”

“This is just a slippery slope to people marrying camels!!”

“I don’t see what’s wrong with same-sex couples… shoot; I have had the same-sex with my wife for 15 years.”

The same-sexed couple are going to be locked up for a long time and it seems that America needs a law that tells them exactly what Marriage is.